Yaunna and Nat

The show dog, Nat. My new boyfriend.

Who's that lady?

What a sexpot!

Ow! Foxy lady!

These are a couple of the new outfits. We went shopping today, courtesy of Gramma Kim. Thanks, mom!!!

The Poo Face

This is Brenny's "Eat Poo" face. We wanna make t-shirts with this face on it that says "eat Poo". And "Let's get this chicken started". That last phrase is because I taught him how to say "Let's get this party started" and he thinks poo is really funny (typical guy) so he changed it to "Let's get this poopy started". So I told him that chickens are much funnier than poo, so now he says all the time "Let's get this chicken started". Maybe he should be wearing a chef's hat for that pic.

"Sisters...sisters...there were never such devoted sisters...

...never had to have a chaperone, no sir...I'm here to keep my eye on her." Actually, she keeps her eye on me. I'm younger 12.5 years. Jenn wants me to tell you all that she "looks like crap because she won the Nobel Peace Prize last night and had too much champagne at the after party". You all can guess what really happened.

She's gonna beat me for saying that.

They grow up so fast, don't they?

This is my nephew Blake...he's 15 and taller than me. I remember when he was little...we were in the car for a while driving to Target (we lived in a really small town, so if you wanted Target, it was about 30-40 minutes away) and halfway there he was complainging about his legs hurting. Then he started crying. He was probably 3 years old... So we get to Target and I take him in the bathroom to find out what's wrong and I pull down his pants and his underpants...and there was another pair of underpants on. And another. And another. I was laughing hysterically at this point and asked what the deal was. He replied "Mommy bought me new Superman underwear and I couldn't decide which pair to wear today!" So he wore the whole package. Nerd. But man...it was like, yesterday...and now he likes girls instead of Superman underwear. Wherever does the time go?!?!?!?!

We're not related, seriously...

Jenn in her scuba outfit she was going to wear for her presentation yesterday. She supposedly didn't have enough time to change into it though...so she ended up just wearing her dress. She looked very pretty in it though...nice to see her in something other than Birkenstocks. Dirty hippy. She could wear these flippers and I'd be stoked that she wasn't wearing her 'stocks with socks. By the way, we're only half-sisters...

Chicken Man

Brennan's wearing the scuba mask on his head like a hat. His favorite video game right now is Billy Hatcher, about a boy dressed as a chicken and something something runs around with eggs and stuff. Anyway, he's convinced he's Billy Hatcher in this "hat". Funny kid.

The War Zone

The kitchen after we were finished with it. And the final product. The baggies contain:
*Chocolate rocks
*Gummi snails (which look slightly phallic if you're not told ahead of time that they're snails)
*Swedish fish (that they don't sell anywhere in BC! There's a swedish fish embargo! We went to 4 grocery stores and when we finally found them, we all screamed and hollered and jumped around...yeah, we got some funny looks)
*starfish cookies and/or "trout" cookies

Trout!

They're not trout, actually. I got a lot of hell from Fish Boy Blake about that. We found the cookie cutter and I said, "Hey! Otters eat trout, right?" and he and Yaunna looked at me like I was retarted. Don't otters eat trout?!?! Anyway, I guess they're big mouth bass, or something. I thought Big Mouth Bass was just that stupid singing plastic fish that you buy for people you don't like at Christmas time.
Anyway, he did a gorgeous job on these "fishies" whatever the hell they are.

Cookies

I am a confirmed tweaker! We were up till 2:30 baking these cookies for Jenn's final presentation for her class. The kids were a great help (I'm not being sarcastic) and apparantly they were a HUGE hit yesterday! The blue starfish were created early in the evening...as though that weren't apparant...and the pink ones were done at about 1:45. We got a little tired. But oh well. They taste GREAT! I'm eating one right now.

Yaunna and Alysha

This is Yaunna's best friend, Alysha. They're both standing flat on the ground, without shoes. They're the same age too. I find it funny that Yaunna, the shortest girl in school is best friends with Alysha, the tallest girl in school. I'm totally convinced that Yaunna is going to marry some guy who's like, 6'6". Then she'll be on Maury.

???

I found this on someone else's blog. Apparantly it's in Brooklyn. So...what the hell do you do in this situation??? "Officer, I swear..."

This gives new meaning to "shaved kitty"...

This poor cat. He looks totally humiliated. I like his built in Uggs though.

Brooklyn Graffiti

Beautiful. I want these on the walls in my house.

Yaunna's Last Swimming Lesson

Yaunna at her swimming class. She's the sped at the bottom of the photo giving a peace sign.

Her instructor Alan is the big kid in the wetsuit. Which I find funny because it's hot as hell here. And the kid could use a tan, trust me. He's sweet though...really funny playing with the kids. He splashes them and makes jokes and they play swimming games. Probably the only Yid in Canada, too.

Gotta love them Yids. Mazeltov!

Finally!

Finally she jumped off the diving board! I offered to pay her $20 (Canadian, so like, $4 American) to do it the other day and she wouldn't. Dumb girl. So she did it day before yesterday and today. Also, she passed level 5 swimming lessons. Yay! Congratulations, YR!

Kittens

These are the kittens next door. One looks just like Otto when he was a baby and one looks just like Emily Rose. The Otto kitten is feisty as hell, so he wouldn't sit still for a picture. The E.R. kitty though, stared at me the whole time I stood there trying to steady my hands so I could take a decent picture. Thanks for the nerves, dad.

Yumm

"I chainscarf brownies in the dark"

"I only eat in front of people"

This looks like the boys did when we made brownies the other day.

How much are you worth?

Find out

www.humanforsale.com

I'm worth $2,355,164

Any bids?

This is f*****g hilarious!

http://aspyamongus.blogspot.com/

Oh my god this guy is funny. I have a cramp in my left oblique and mascara running down my cheeks from reading this guy's post. Check it out. I highly recommend it.

Caution! Extreme ugliness!!

This is disturbing. Found it on someone else's blog.

www.samugliestdog.com

Ugh.

Is it still too early to start drinking...?

The not-so-cute but really sweet one.

Well, she's sweet until Nat has a stick she wants. Man! People think my little man is tough...Lila the beagle would kick Truman the Pit Bull's ass! It sounds like f***in' PMSing tazmanian devils in the backyard when she's being pissy.

Aww, Nat...

I'm wondering what the biological force is behind me (pipe up if this strikes you as well) needing to be nicer to the cute dog that's a pecker rather than the not-so-cute one that's really sweet. I love them both actually, it's just this urge to like the better looking one with great DNA than the mutt with shitty DNA. Get it? I'm ranting. Okay, I'll stop. Someone tell me I'm not crazy though!

Crazy! Cucumber lotus and watermelon amazingness. Can we really eat them?!

Dude

Woah. I would say, "this person has way too much time on their hands--they need a hobby" but I think they've already found a good solid waste of their time. How amazing is this?? There's more too. I'll find them. I saved them somewhere on this computer. Oh, the one on the left is a pumpkin and yams and the right is a watermelon.

Not so good.

Those Jewish jokes were kinda lame, sorry. You know what else is lame? Baby poop. Like, 9 times this morning. Once an hour I had to change Kendon's diaper and man...the last one was epic. God only knows what he ate when I wasn't looking...oops.
I did some math (yes, I know it's summer...I getnew shoes now as my present for doing math over the summer) and figured out that Jenn has changed somewhere close to 15,000 diapers so far in her life. Assuming up till age 2, you change the kids diapers every 2 hours when they're awake which is about 10 hours out of 24. Um...well, it may not be totally accurate, but if anything, I underestimated the number of dirty diapers she's changed. Mom, Jenn...I salute you. I've changed 5 and I'm ready to go home. Upwards of 15,000...they should give out Sainthoods for mothers.

Jewish Jokes!

I found this on someone else's blog and felt the need to share. I haven't even read it...it was just something about jokes and Jews so I needed it. I hope it's funny. If it's not, well, sorry.

Enjoy and have a Good Shabbos and a Shabbat Shalom.
Jewish Vocabulary
JEWBILATION n. Pride in finding out that one's favorite celebrity is Jewish.
TORAHFIED n. Inability to remember one's lines when called to read from the Torah at one's Barmitzvah.
SANTASHMANTA n. The explanation Jewish children get for why they celebrate Hannukah while the rest of humanity celebrates Christmas.
MATZILATION v. Smashing a piece of matzo to bits while trying to butter it.
BUBBEGUM n. Candy one's mother gives to her grandchildren that she never gave to her own children.
CHUTZPAPA n. A father who wakes his wife at 4:00 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper.
DISORIYENTA n. When Aunt Sadie gets lost in a department store and strikes up a conversation with everyone she passes.
GOYFER n. A Gentile messenger.
JEWDO n. A traditional form of self defense based on talking one's way out of a tight spot.
MEINSTEIN slang. "My son, the genius."
MISHPOCHAMARKS n. The assorted lipstick and make-up stains found on one's face and collar after kissing all of one's aunts and cousins at a reception.
ROSH HASHANANA n. A rock 'n roll band from Brooklyn.
YIDENTIFY vb. To be able to determine ethnic origins of celebrities even though their names might be St. John, Curtis, Davis, or Taylor.
MINYASTICS n.going to incredible lengths and troubles to find a tenth person to complete a minyan.
FEELAWFUL n. Indigestion from eating Israeli street food.
TRAYFFIC ACCIDENT n. An appetizer one finds out has pork in it after one has eaten it.

Not a job for a Jewish boy...Two Rabbis were talking about how they made a little extra money on the side.Rabbi Ginsberg said: Well, I work in a battery factory standing near the conveyor belt.What do you do there? asked Rabbi GoldbergI just wave my hand as the batteries go by and say 'I wish you a longlife!'

Jewish jokes
A man started to tell a joke at a party: "Two Jews were on their way..."Suddenly he was interrupted by a sensitive guest."Why do so many jokes begin with Jews?""Oh, I'm sorry," apologized the story teller, "I'll start again. Two Chinese men were on their way to the Synagogue to see the Rabbi..."

Hmm

I just realized you can't see the title of the book Kendon's reading in the next post. It's Michael Moore's "Dude, where's my country?". Now you know.

Future political hellraiser?

This one's for you, dad! Kendon's already brushing up on his controversial left-wing politics. Get ready for another debate buddy in the family, dad!

It may be a mess, but they're entertained.

Fort Socks

We made a fort today and watched Harry Potter 2. Actually, Yaunna watched it, Brennan farted on me, and I took a nap. Oh, and had to keep crawling out of thr 1 1/2" tall fort to keep answering the phone/getting popcorn/making juice/blah blah blah... It was quite a workout.

Fancy pants

Eskimo should be named Rico Suave. He is one smooth cat. He's a total lover...kisses me all over my neck and face and sleeps spooning me occasionally. He only gets a little pissy when you play with his fat roll. Hmm...that doesn't sound like anyone I know...((coughKevcough))...hehe I love you, Fatman!

Not Special Brownies, unfortunately...

Shakespeare got to lick the spoon...

We made brownies today. ALL of us. Yaunna got the bowl, Kendon got the spatula, and Bren the Bard got the spoon. When the "donuts" (that's Bren's word for brownies) were cool, we ate them with chocolate ice cream and sprinkles on top. Yummmmm.
Don't worry babe, I burn off all the calories chasing the m*****f*****s around the house.

Other than tan surfer boys...

...this is the best thing to ever come out of Australia. The Wiggles. They keep the wee ones entertained for HOURS and somehow creep into my brain because even as I sit here writing this, I'm singing "It's the WIGgles, it's the WIGgles...duh duh duh de-dah!"
I can deal with the songs as long as the kids are zoning out to it. Yay! Thank you Jeff, Anthony, Greg and Murray!!
Oh hey Kev, this is the Shalom song, by the way. Just for you, bud.

Again, Thank God...

Whoever invented video games...God bless you. I love you. This game keeps Bren out of my hair while I'm cooking or cleaning or changing diapers or fixing clothes for Yaunna or answering the phone or picking up toys or injuring myself on toys...
The only thing is if you play with him and win, he cries. And says "Not faiw! It's not funny, Ashleigh Auntie!".
Oh well. I guess I'll just have to let him play by himself. *shrug*

Thank God.

It's KendieJew!

They usually call him KendieQ, but I like KenideJew better. His favorite song on the Wiggles tape is "Shalom Alachem" so I sing it to him and he giggles and dances. I found this round bra pad on the side table next to the couhc and thought he would look awfully cute as a Yid, so here he is. The .32 seconds he left it on for. Kevi, it's a mini you! But without the piercings and "666" tattooed on his forehead.

A quiet moment...

..."quiet" being the keyword here. Actually, he's a very good baby. His new trick though, is to kick me, full-force in the chin when I lean over to change his diaper or buckle him into his carseat. The first few times my teeth clacked and I nearly passed out. Now I'm wise to his game; I clench my jaw. HaHA!